ho...hum...

well, i don' t have any pictures to post this time...again. i really need to get better at that. i think i also need to get my blog out there as far as viewed. it would be nice to have more people that pay attention i guess. i don't know. its all good.

today was the first full work day for me in about three months. it was crazy today. it was "bring your kid to work day" today. we do things a bit differently at DirectPointe though. rather than let the kids hang with their parents, we give them things to do. i was asked to be a supervisor i guess. it took a lot out of me. right around noon is when we got done with all of the activities and the kids went home. i sat at my desk and started to work and then, all of a sudden, my energy left me. i was drained. props to parents. kids are a handful.

i am still going to school. i have a cebuano class and the first half of new testament. i love school. i never thought that i would ever say that but i do. school is the best thing. i love learning, even though i don't learn like i used to. i am not a sponge like i used to be. thus it takes a lot more out of me to remember stuff and to actually learn. i used to be a master at test taking. now i am way better at homework than tests. it has been way too long since i have been in school. five years. way too long.

recently, i have had a lot on my mind. my life is going in the right direction and i feel like i am doing what i am supposed to, it is just that there seem to be a few things missing. almost like a hole in my life. i am probably the most fickle guy in the world. it sucks. i have hurt some one very special to me because of it. and it wasn't intentional. and i still care a lot about this person, but i have blown it. and hence the hole. she is moving on, which is the right thing, but i am dying. and it has nothing to do with her. i am just a moron. i don't want to put her on another emotional roller coaster, but it is so hard to be without her. i am happy for her that she isn't letting me hold her back, but i am having the hardest time. emotions suck sometimes. but then other times, they are so beautiful. so life is life. maybe next time i will have pictures.

Happy Birthday to Me...

well, today is the day. i was born 23 years ago this day. can i say that i don't feel 23? i don't feel a day older. i feel more tired than usual though. but that is because of finals i think. i have three finals to take in two days. i have one at 7 tomorrow morning which is going to be killer because it is my chem final and i am not doing so hot in chem. i am going to try and study my brains out so that i can get a decent grade on the final to hopefully bump up my grade. anyway, my birthday.

not much of a day, as i wanted it to be. i would much rather not draw attention to it. i have put too much expectation on my birthday when i was younger and was disappointed every time. i can't tell you how many times that i tried to have a birthday party or something when i invited a lot of people who i thought were friends only to have three or four people show up. not a huge self-esteem builder. that is why i don't like birthday parties and especially surprise parties. can't stand 'em.

i spent most of the day working. i got a call from dad first. we talked for a bit but he had to get to work and so did i. then mom called and i got to talk to her for a bit. then i got a few texts here and there from friends. i am surprised at how many people actually remembered though. i tried to keep it hush. i really didn't want to make a big deal out of it. as negative as i am about my birthday, i am very thankful for the friends that i have and their support for me.

mom sent me a box that got to me today. i don't think that she was intending it for my birthday, but it got here today so it made it that much better. and she is bringing some good stuff when they come up and bring Kati's stuff in a week. i haven't seen the fam since Christmas. I wish we could be closer. it isn't until you are far away that you realize how much you love them.

so, happy day. :D

Father's Day

Well, it has been a whole month. Today is Father's day. I already talked with my Dad today and wished him a happy Father's Day. I kinda wanted to do the same thing for Father's Day that I did for Mother's Day, but just say the things I like most about my Dad. And I am sure that some of these will be the same as for Mother's Day.

My Dad works so hard to make sure that his family is comfortable, but is there for us all at the same time. Not too many Dad's can say that they make enough money to comfortably support their family and still be there for them. My Dad can.

My Dad loves my Mom and we know it. I cannot tell you how many times that he has told us this in family councils and stuff. Aside from that, he has told us and proved to us over and over again that he would much rather be out shopping with Mom than doing anything else.

My Dad loves the Church. I have never known a man so devoted and so willing to sacrifice for what he believes. I know that many of the early members of the church had to sacrifice a great deal, but I never knew them. My Dad is a living example of having an eye single to the glory of God.

My Dad loves his kids. Everything he does, he does first for the betterment of his family. That entails moving a lot, and every time that we moved, it was always to a better standard of living. He is also my mentor and greatest teacher.

I love my Dad. Happy Father's Day.