Friday, June 29, 2007

ho...hum...

well, i don' t have any pictures to post this time...again. i really need to get better at that. i think i also need to get my blog out there as far as viewed. it would be nice to have more people that pay attention i guess. i don't know. its all good.

today was the first full work day for me in about three months. it was crazy today. it was "bring your kid to work day" today. we do things a bit differently at DirectPointe though. rather than let the kids hang with their parents, we give them things to do. i was asked to be a supervisor i guess. it took a lot out of me. right around noon is when we got done with all of the activities and the kids went home. i sat at my desk and started to work and then, all of a sudden, my energy left me. i was drained. props to parents. kids are a handful.

i am still going to school. i have a cebuano class and the first half of new testament. i love school. i never thought that i would ever say that but i do. school is the best thing. i love learning, even though i don't learn like i used to. i am not a sponge like i used to be. thus it takes a lot more out of me to remember stuff and to actually learn. i used to be a master at test taking. now i am way better at homework than tests. it has been way too long since i have been in school. five years. way too long.

recently, i have had a lot on my mind. my life is going in the right direction and i feel like i am doing what i am supposed to, it is just that there seem to be a few things missing. almost like a hole in my life. i am probably the most fickle guy in the world. it sucks. i have hurt some one very special to me because of it. and it wasn't intentional. and i still care a lot about this person, but i have blown it. and hence the hole. she is moving on, which is the right thing, but i am dying. and it has nothing to do with her. i am just a moron. i don't want to put her on another emotional roller coaster, but it is so hard to be without her. i am happy for her that she isn't letting me hold her back, but i am having the hardest time. emotions suck sometimes. but then other times, they are so beautiful. so life is life. maybe next time i will have pictures.

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